Self care is a term you’ve probably heard being used a couple of times. It’s a concept that I myself didn’t fully understand until faily recently. In retrospect I realize that I had a lot of misconceptions about what it all means.
I remember being the loneliest I’ve ever been about two years ago. The reason being that I had disconnected from myself. There were too many conversations I did not want to have with myself, let alone with other people.
I felt ashamed for not having it all together despite how unbothered I looked on the outside. Admitting that I wasn’t in a good space took some courage and a lot of time in the making. I had a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a strong and self-sufficient Girl Boss. I definitely did not want to come across as too sensitive or too emotional. I used to try so hard!
The tables turned for me when I recognized that it possible to be intuitive, while also being a no nonsense, ambitious and go getting girl at the same time! I don’t have to sacrifice one aspect of mysef for the other, they are not mutually exclusive. And so my self care journey began.
What is self care?
To keep it simple, I would define self care as the act of giving yourself what you need in order to remain whole. It encompasses all actions designed to take care of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Balance.
Involves taking care of your body- exercising, getting enough sleep, keeping yourself hydrated, practicing good hygiene habits just to name a few.
Involves nurturing a good thought life- building confidence and beliefs about self, learning and maintaining clarity.
Is about getting an understanding of yourself, and learning how to use emotions to your advantage.
Is about finding connection with God, yourself, and others, finding meaning, deep understanding, contentness, and inner peace.
What self care isn’t
To benefit from practicing self care I had to unlearn a bunch of misconceptions. As I said in the beginning, I had a lot of them! Take a look:
1. Self care is a rich people habit
Practicing self care requires a lot of money. It means having an endless supply of expesive spa sessions, and all things indulgent that I cannot afford.
2. Self-care is about buying nice toiletries
The face masks, bath bombs, delicious smelling shower gels, oils, you name it. And of course, the candles to create the ambiance 😂
3. Sef-care is another addition to an endless to-do list of stressors
How am I supposed to balance being a responsible citizen, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, staying fit, passing all my modules, texting people back, while also managing to tick all the other boxes of what self care requires!? Life is already complicated as is.
4. It’s all or nothing
5. Self care is unspiritual and selfish
A little focus on self is already too much focus. It makes you vain, shallow, and self-centred. You should be focusing on others and making their lives better.
6. Needing self care is a sign of weakness
You’re strong only if nothing ever phases you, you can work for hours without loosing motivation, you’re always happy and charming, you know what you’re doing all the time, you never cry. The list is endless!
7. Spending time in self care is lazy
Anything that didn’t directly translate to “getting things done” brought with it a sense of guilt. Who said that in order to add value, you have to constantly be on the move?
8. Self care is something we are born knowing how to do
When someone would ask me ” are you taking care of yourself?” I would always answer with an automatic YES not knowing that taking care of myself is something I needed to learn.
9. Having to practice self care means you have no one to rely on
Now this go to me! I was under the impression that the love that you get from within is a last resort & that if you have to go that deep then you must really be alone or in trouble. My mentality was “there should be some people to take care of you such that you don’t have to worry about taking care of yourself”, and vice versa (refer point 5).
10. Self care is the same for everyone
If you want to practice self care then just copy someone else’s routine.
I don’t want to bombard you with information so let’s explore what self care means on the next blog post. Remember to be kind towards yourself this coming week, work hard, but don’t treat yourself as an afterthought either.
Which one of the above misconceptions can you relate with? Share in the comments below🙋 if you consider yourself well educated in self care also share what works for you down below👇